Friday, February 6, 2009

WTF- THAT Mom...

I wanted to share a juicy tid-bit with you involving this mom at my kids school. Now, don't get me wrong, she might be a really nice lady but probably not. So she's that mom. You know, the one that's always at the school for no apparent reason, goes on every field trip and runs every fundraiser (poorly I might add). I honestly don't know if she leaves at all after dropping her kids off. So I'm a smoker and every time I'm waiting for my kids and she sees me smoking, she gives me this glare like she wants to kill me and then leans over to the other moms and I know she's talking shit. I mean, I don't discard my butts on school grounds, I'm across the street in my car minding my own damn business. I don't know, I just get this really creepy vibe from her. If we happen to cross paths, I just feel a wave of judgement the way she looks at me and my kids and like right when we're passing she always gives me this big toothy grin and pops her gum like a lioness protecting her unattractive cubs. I even caught her once kind of pulling her kids to the other side as we walked by like I was gonna offer her little bastards a martini and a Marlboro light. Bitch. Anyways, as with any school, parking is an issue. So if you can get there more than 5 minutes before school lets out- bonus, you might get a decent spot. So there have been a few times where I pull up and park and of course, she's the one and only parent parked in the school bus zone directly in front of where the bus parks leaving just enough room. Like she's special, right? And she will never hesitate to block traffic for miles to stop and talk to someone out the window in another car. GOD I hate that. So here's the deal, she'll get out of the car, put on her roller blades and proceed to roller blade up and down the sidewalk in front of the school. Maybe that's the soccer mom's version of pissing all over the place you know, like marking your territory. Nasty. So she's all sweaty and hair a mess and does this for seriously like 20 minutes and then just puts her shoes back on and goes and gets her kids. And she's always wearing the same outfit: school t-shirt and mom jeans that make your ass look like a W. Ew. Gross. I hope she has a collection of them that's all I'm saying. Probably not. She's probably one of those people who really want you to think they're better than everyone else and she's probably like dirt poor and her husband cheats on her and her house smells like shit covered with burnt hair. Just sayin... Remember moms, when you're weird and rude to strangers, there are people like me out there who notice and blog about you. That is all.


  1. LOL!! W jeans!!! OMGosh that's why I don't wear jeans cause my old fat ass would have a W ass!!

    Next time flick your cig at her!

  2. I found myself laughing hysterically when I read this-especially since I'm a young mom who often gets dirty looks from all of the married moms in SUVs. The other day, one of them actually walked in a circle around my car (I wasn't in it), staring through the windows. Apparently my tiny Ford is not up to par. lol