Friday, February 6, 2009

Handicapable...



I'm really new to this blogging thing. I just want desperately to be entertaining enough or at least interesting enough to keep your attention. So I'm going to blog mostly about other people at first. It's what I do best. So I have this friend. It's not Chelsea. We'll call her, "the small one". So "the small one" has this like weird fascination/attraction to handicapped men. Seriously! I think she was totally the fan club president for Corky Thatcher. Obladi Obladah... Anyways, she's always in love with a new disabled person. The deaf guy that comes in to her work, blind guy on American Idol, the guy in the wheelchair from high school. Jesus Christ on a bicycle, she even dated "Helmet Guy" from elementary school. For reals reals. The guy that wore the helmet and played with the rocks by himself at recess, she dated him... Additionally, if it's not some physical disability, it's an Ashton Kutcheresque attraction to old people! Her last crush was on a man 20 years her senior. It's not unusual either. I love this girl dearly so I refuse to judge. I just want her to be happy. But OMG if you can't hear, walk, talk or see, you got a date. If you can do any of that with an accent, I'll have a wedding to plan. She is currently a proud volunteer for the make a wish foundation. Not to help sick people... but to date them. Oh and I bought her a Jitterbug phone for her birthday. That is all.

3 comments:

  1. OH.MY.GOD. I knew you would be amazing, but this...out of control!

    Did every elementary school have a helmet guy? I wonder if they were normal kids planted by the state or something to make us nice.

    Oblahdi Ohblada...I love you. BFF!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, my elementary school had like a special ed wing. My favorite was this girl who used to run around in circles calling out desperately for the music teacher proclaiming she wanted to have the music teacher's babies. Yes, they were both female. It was amazing...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Russ!! It's me Bon Don your new best friend!!

    Thanks for the comment, I look forward to seeing you around A-LOT :) I also look forward to meeting you all tomorrow! Woo hoo!!!

    "Your daddy's rich and your mama's good looking"

    *Bon Don*

    ReplyDelete