And Jesus wept...Again.

Friends, Family and sometimes both. I'm back! I know, I know. I've been away for a while, but so much has happened that it's time to come back to you, my people. Look for new updates daily. At least until I get busy again. So what has happened recently?... Let me start with this bitch.

It's Carrie Peejeans, A.K.A. Carrie Prejean, A.K.A. "Miss California". As many of you know, Peejeans found herself in the middle of a controversy when she publicly declared during the pageant (while answering a question posed by a kinda famous, kinda douchy gay man) that she believes that marriage should be reserved for one man and one woman. Here it is in case you missed it.



Point of view aside, is it just me or was that the worst and most bumbled through answer in history? It was like watching the Miss Special Olympics pageant. But whatever.

That's nice, Carrie. Now, let's all google your name with the family filter off so we can see your fun bags plastered all over the Internet. That's right folks! In addition to the super nifty photo above, it seems 6 more photos of a fully topless Peejeans have surfaced to her utter disgrace. There's my issue right there. I understand many people do not agree with gay marriage. But isn't it always the folks that are so vocal about it like uber christian conservative and MINISTER Ted Haggard, or Republican Senator Larry Craig, who get caught doing meth and having sex with male prostitutes or trying to get a handy in the men's room at the Minneapolis airport!? Of course.

And now this. Yes, Carrie. Let's make sure we protect our country's "morals" and "values" by denying loving couples basic human rights. I mean, it's what Jesus would have wanted, right? Of course. But Carrie... How many youngsters have already made knuckle babies looking at your naked pictures online? I'm sure daddy isn't taking those into work to put on his desk. So now YOUR morals are in question but it's different, right? Of course. That's not what Jesus would do Carrie... Not at all.

Long live hypocrisy. That is all.

PS- "I Heart Opposite Marriage" bumper stickers coming soon to a bible bookstore near you.

Eat the F*in Cake, RiRi!

New Information...



That is all.

The Academy Awards

OK everyone! it's time for my Oscar review. I know it's a day late but hey, hopefully it is worth it. I know I haven't posted in a few days but I hope my loyal following will forgive me.

OK let's start off with best dressed. I know I am going to get crap for this but I don't care. I am naming Kate Winslet (pictured above) best dressed. The gorgeous slate and black dress, the flawless hair and jewels and the way she just "is". She was pure Hollywood at its very best. Brava!

Now on to worst dressed. Jessica Biel (pictured above). Oh Jessica. Were you running late, dear? Is that why you insisted on grabbing a clip and a bed sheet and "making it work"? Well, you didn't. You look like hell and I'm not going to take it anymore. Were there uglier dresses there? Yes. Why are you the worst dressed? Because you know better. Moving on.

Now for THE red carpet moment. While being interviewed Vanessa Hudgens (pictured above) said she felt like a young Audrey Hepburn. Hey, Nessa, come here honey. Here's the deal. The day Audrey Hepburn disgraces herself, her family and the company she works for by having her bush plastered all over the internet, we can talk about comparing you to old Hollywood. Until then, just stand there and smile. K? Thanks.

Finally, a red carpet shout out to David Bowie (pictured above). Although I'm not a big fan of his outfit, I do admire his bold choices.

Now on to the show. Based on the post-show reactions I've seen, my opinion that Hugh Jackman's musical numbers were boring, old time and self-indulgent is not a popular one. You're not that great, Hugh. Not even Beyonce or her rumored nip-slip (I didn't catch it) could save the 2nd musical number...

De Nada. I guess.

Go away. Fuck.

Funny

Not Funny

Aside from the Mickey Rourke crap at the end, I thought Sean Penn's Best Actor acceptance speech was heartfelt and thought provoking. Here's the video in case you missed it. Um. On a side note. Please pause the video at exactly 55 seconds. Now look behind the blond writer guy. OK. WTF IS THAT?!?!?! Holy Shit! That guy would have no problem biting an apple through a picket fence. How did he get into the Oscars? Is Angelina trying to adopt one of his kids? This just about ruined my night.

Then Slumdog Millionaire won best picture.

That is all.

Gab's Fab Birthday Party.

UGH!

I had sooo much fun last night at Gabby's Birthday party! We laughed, we sang, we drank and woke up naked on the side of the road in Costa Mesa. Again. What can I say? We're good like that.

I was also pleased to have met some new wonderful friends!

Bon Don, famous for her cupcakes. But that's between her and her husband.





Himbo an absolute riot and their good friend (and mine) Dula!

I can't wait to hang out with everyone again sooon! That is all.

If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it...

Sorry, this was too fantastic and disgusting not to post. It's dedicated to all you fabulous single ladies. You're welcome. That is all.

Everytime you listen to Rush Limbaugh, Jesus kills a kitten.

Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, that crazy guy that sounds like a screaming dwarf, insert any right-wing pundit really, the result will always be the same. Kittens die, and none of us want that on our conscience, right? Right.

I love talk radio. Don't get me wrong, I love my ipod too, but if I'm waiting somewhere and don't have a book with me I feel a need to listen to talk radio but I can no longer stand even for a few minutes the right-wing hosts. Not even in-between a commercial break for something else.

For example, I was on my way to the store the other night and I caught Dr. Laura on the radio. As right wing as they come right? It's just not an overtly political show. So this woman calls in to be "counseled" on her failing 2 year marriage. The woman stays at home and does everything for this man but he still seems upset all the time and they fight over money a lot. Dr. Laura (without asking follow up questions) had the nerve to tell this woman that the problems in her marriage were clearly her fault, to quote, "What hard working man wants to come home to a lunatic shrill of a woman who has the audacity to question him about the way he spends the money he earns." It went on from there but I had to turn it off.

The point? If you like talk radio like I do and perhaps share more liberal viewpoints then I urge my friends here in LA to check out AM1150 KTLK http://www.ktlk.com/main.html. My friends in Detroit can check out AM1310 WDTW http://www.1310wdtw.com/main.html. Line ups include Stephanie Miller, Randi Rhodes, Rachael Maddow and some of the greatest progressive minds out there. On the weekends, personal favorites of mine, Frangela, from the VH1 Best week ever are on the air discussing politics and people. Hilarious.

That is all.

S.O.S.!! He's got the Umbrella ella ella eh eh.. 123 Disturbia Lane!

As a dear friend pointed out recently, I am THE authority on the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation. Unfortunately, that same friend (it's not Liz) made a real fool of herself blowing this and completely unrelated situations out of proportion and spreading vicious lies.

OMG if you could see how hard I am laughing right now, you'd laugh too. Not just because I'm totally the guilty one, not her, but because I'm blogging in jeans and a tank top and instead of looking like the blogging hunk I truly am, I'm all hunched over and looking more like a predator from Dateline. But I digress.

The "Alleged" Facts:

beat the crap out of

*Bruises to the face- Check
*Busted lower lip- Check
*Swollen head- Check
*Bite marks on arm(s)- Check

Rumored weapon:



Known Fallacies:

*Known Fallacy #1- that is at all acceptable in any way, shape or form. Even when on vacation.

*Fallacy #2- We now know this is NOT Chris Brown, or his car. Sheesh! lol. Too bad tho, it was a total waste of like 2 hours of my time last night.



More "facts" as they become available. Stay tuned...

That is all.